I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
