My first STD was from a foam party
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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