How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
