You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
