you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
