can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
