i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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