No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
