There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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