brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
