It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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