is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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