Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
