Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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