Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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