btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
