I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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