After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
