you would pick up someone in the library
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
