Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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