So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
hell yes lets make some ravioli
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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