just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
