she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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