i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
