i was rollin on her like bob the builder
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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