forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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