We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
