I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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