Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
A+ Viking dick
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
