Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
