we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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