We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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