Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
