I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i've created a new STD.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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