Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
