I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
