I wish I only lived at night.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
