I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
