if i can run in heels then i can drive
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
