Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
