oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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