Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
