yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
