Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
