So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
