My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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