They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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