I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
