wakey wakey hands off snakey
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
