i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
